What all dads need to hear about emotions and their son's future mental health

Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:

Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?

Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.

This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.

In this episode, we cover:

• The two stages when boys start hiding emotions
• Why boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re struggling
• How to become an emotional safe space for your son
• What makes it hard for dads to be vulnerable
• Gentle ways to start emotional conversations with boys
• The RULER model for building emotional intelligence
• How to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawn
• Why parents’ own emotional work matters
• Practical scripts and small daily moments that build trust

Read our blog post about this topic:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/

Learn more from Brendan below:

@re.masculine

https://remasculine.com

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/