Reflective Parenting by Curious Neuron

Are you having unhealthy conflict? Here's what science says.

Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. Season 8 Episode 35

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0:00 | 25:16

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This episode will change how you see conflict.

We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones.

You’ll learn:

  • the Four Horsemen (with real examples)
  • how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuck
  • the shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healing
  • how your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)
  • 3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversation

This is not about fixing the last fight.

This is about changing the next one.

If you shut down, explode, or get stuck repeating the same arguments this episode is for you.


Read our full blog post about this topic (it has all the research I mentioned in this episode):

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/09/the-science-of-healthy-conflict-patterns-in-couples/


Get the book The Next Conversation here

Don't miss this podcast episode to help you out with conflict:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000735018841

Support the show

Do you find yourself reacting in ways you wish you could change when your child is upset? Learn how to stay calm, manage your emotions, and respond in a way that actually helps your child.

Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

Or purchase our course, join the next 8 week group cohort in April 2026 below:

https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/