
Reflective Parenting by Curious Neuron
A parenting podcast that doesn't tell you HOW to parent your own child. We teach you how to think during parenting challenges and help you build emotional intelligence skills to lower your stress and help you cope with those challenging emotions that come with parenting.
Neuroscientist, Dr. Cindy Hovington can help you parent your child with confidence and feel competent by helping you understand your triggers, recognize and break your emotional patterns and teach you how to model healthy emotional coping skills for your child.
Cindy is the founder and CEO of Curious Neuron, is an internationally recognized emotional well-being resource for parents with their evidence-based educational content being consumed in over 70 countries! She is a leading thought expert in emotion regulation and parental well-being as well as an international speaker on well-being and emotional development in children.
The goal of this podcast is to help parents gain awareness of their emotional triggers, build your confidence as a parent, understand how their past influences behavioural patterns they can stuck in and help them learn how to model healthy emotional coping skills for their children. We do this by discussing the science of emotional intelligence and effective parenting practices.
Join us every Monday for conversations with leading researchers and best selling authors in parental well-being, childhood adversity, attachment, emotional development, stress management and emotion regulation skills. Past guests include Dr. Bruce Perry, Dr. Marc Brackett and best-selling authors Dr. Ramani Durvasula and Stephanie Harrison.
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To learn more from Curious Neuron or to join The Reflective Parent Club, visit www.curiousneuron.com.
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Reflective Parenting by Curious Neuron
Invalidation in your relationship: Understanding the impact of dismissing emotions
In this podcast episode, I delve into invalidation and its significant impact on romantic relationships. I highlight common invalidating statements such as "Why are you upset?", "You're overreacting," or "Calm down," explaining that these make a partner feel their emotions are wrong, unjustified, or excessive. This can lead to increased frustration, shame, and a sense of being alone in their struggle, mirroring the hurt children feel when invalidated.
I emphasize the importance of using validating alternatives, such as "I see that you're feeling upset. Can you tell me what's making you feel this way?" or "It sounds like you're feeling anxious right now. That must be really uncomfortable. How can I support you?". These phrases aim to make the partner feel seen and heard, fostering connection and reducing conflict.
I then introduce a study on marital conflict behaviors, categorizing them into three styles:
•Destructive: Includes actions like yelling, insults, criticism, or bringing up past issues.
•Constructive: Involves calm discussion, active listening, saying nice things, or trying to make a spouse laugh.
•Withdrawal: Entails disengaging, such as becoming quiet or leaving the situation.
The study found that, as expected, husbands and wives who reported using more destructive behaviors had a higher rate of divorce. A particularly fascinating and counter-intuitive finding was that greater constructive behaviors among wives predicted greater divorce rates. Learn more in this episode!
Listen to my conversation with author of Validation, Dr. Caroline Fleck:
Read the full study:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3777640/pdf/nihms494814.pdf
More ways to build emotion regulation skills with Curious Neuron!
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A science-based course that helps you learn how to cope with emotions, stress, your child's behaviour and your partner! Plus, a weekly coaching call to help you build awareness and practice new tools.
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
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Grab a Free Resource:
- FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions
- FREE Kids Activity: Help! My Emotions Are Confusing
Email: info@curiousneuron.com