Reflective Parenting by Curious Neuron
Parenting shouldn’t be defined by stress, guilt, and self-doubt. Yet for 94% of parents, that’s what our days feel like. As a neuroscientist and mom of three, I know firsthand how easy it is to end the day overwhelmed, wishing you’d been calmer, more present, or more patient with your child. That’s why I created The Reflective Parenting Podcast—a place where we pause, reflect, and discover a new way forward.
Join me every Monday as we explore science-backed skills that replace guilt with confidence and stress with calm so that you, and your child, can thrive. Some weeks, I’ll share my own reflections as a parent who’s still learning, just like you. Other weeks, I’ll bring in experts from psychology, neuroscience, and beyond to dive into the research and uncover practical ways we can make parenting feel lighter, less overwhelming, and more connected.
Parents don’t need more advice or another education-heavy podcast. What they truly need is a space to pause, reflect, and grow. Reflective parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about noticing what drives our reactions and choosing to show up with intention. This podcast is about building resilience, trust, and connection, and joining a movement to reimagine what parenting can feel like—for us, and for our kids.
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Reflective Parenting by Curious Neuron
Invalidation in your relationship: Understanding the impact of dismissing emotions
In this podcast episode, I delve into invalidation and its significant impact on romantic relationships. I highlight common invalidating statements such as "Why are you upset?", "You're overreacting," or "Calm down," explaining that these make a partner feel their emotions are wrong, unjustified, or excessive. This can lead to increased frustration, shame, and a sense of being alone in their struggle, mirroring the hurt children feel when invalidated.
I emphasize the importance of using validating alternatives, such as "I see that you're feeling upset. Can you tell me what's making you feel this way?" or "It sounds like you're feeling anxious right now. That must be really uncomfortable. How can I support you?". These phrases aim to make the partner feel seen and heard, fostering connection and reducing conflict.
I then introduce a study on marital conflict behaviors, categorizing them into three styles:
•Destructive: Includes actions like yelling, insults, criticism, or bringing up past issues.
•Constructive: Involves calm discussion, active listening, saying nice things, or trying to make a spouse laugh.
•Withdrawal: Entails disengaging, such as becoming quiet or leaving the situation.
The study found that, as expected, husbands and wives who reported using more destructive behaviors had a higher rate of divorce. A particularly fascinating and counter-intuitive finding was that greater constructive behaviors among wives predicted greater divorce rates. Learn more in this episode!
Listen to my conversation with author of Validation, Dr. Caroline Fleck:
Read the full study:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3777640/pdf/nihms494814.pdf
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