Reflective Parenting Podcast by Curious Neuron

When you discipline your child are you also doing this one important thing?

Cindy Hovington, Ph.D. Season 8 Episode 5

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 28:26

Send us Fan Mail

The one mistake many parents make when disciplining their children is forgetting to teach the underlying skills needed for emotional regulation. Focusing only on consequences without addressing skill development leaves children unable to manage emotions like disappointment and frustration.

• The purpose of discipline should be education, not just punishment
• Children need to learn how to regulate emotions like disappointment before they can behave appropriately
• Co-regulation requires parents to first recognize and manage their own emotional state
• When children are dysregulated, they need connection before correction
• Creating "scaffolding" helps build skills gradually through small, manageable challenges
• Waiting until both parent and child are regulated before teaching new skills
• Skills like patience, emotional expression, and frustration tolerance must be explicitly taught
• Disciplining without teaching skills creates a cycle of continued misbehavior
• Reflection helps parents see past the behavior to the emotional need underneath

Watch this on YouTube!

https://youtu.be/SQKD_D7jglY

Join the Reflective Parent Club for weekly coaching calls and support in developing emotion regulation skills. Visit curiousneuron.com for articles, resources, and a free 7-day trial of the club.


Support the show

  1. Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
  2. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
  3. Get your FREE emotional awareness training (comes with a poster, workbook and video):

https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s

  • Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
  • Or email me to join the next 6-week training, to schedule a discovery call for a 1:1 consult for your and your family or to book some leadership training for your workplace info@curiousneuron.com